Smoke...

I have been looking out the window in different instances and for so many different days, all to consume the sent of the burning cigarette that almost never go away.
With no enthusiasm I have been moving around and taking along with me the memory of the early morning routine.
The Rushing to slip on my working jeans and the tending to the stove and the toaster at the same time, then rushing to check if the coffee is ready and finally to get myself in the pick-up truck seconds before my brother get tired of waiting on me.
Well, although I no longer have a crave for the cigarettes I bought a dollar worth yesterday only to remind myself of how happy I was while going to the ranch and sharing a pack of whites with my elder brother.
For that moment I took the first draw and I closed my eyes and as my lids closed there were vivid pictures that flew by and the many smells that attacked my nose brought sadness and emptiness to me, knowing that I am no where close to seeing my dad, my little brother Justin nor Jason. I can't wait till I go home and smoke a cigarette once again on my way to the ranch.